To The Wild Women Out There…

I will never be the obedient woman that fits into a society or gives a fuck about anything or anyone but my own health, happiness, and dreams.

Do not get me wrong, it does not mean I am egotistical. Yes, I am self-focused. But I am also, selfless and very considerate of others. I believe you can only do well to others and galvanize them to change and grow to the better only if you treat yourself that way first.

You cannot share a joy and love you don’t own. You cannot be unhealthy and expect to affect others positively.

I, however, proclaim my life, dignity, and rights. I live by my own conduct and no one else’s. People, no matter how close they are to me, have no say in my personal life and beliefs, not even my parents.

I will always be the woman who favors adventure over settling.

I cannot stay put. I do not see myself ever being with someone living like the rest do, from his or her idea of a wedding till the roof they build, the children they conceive, or how they raise them.

I do not care for a wedding dress, over-the-top event, a big roof, car, or any of that. I would rather be stripped bear naked on the vast roads of this treasured world and have nature engulf me to what is truth and home instead, and it is what lies within me and within each and every one of you, if only you follow your own voice.

When it comes to my personal life, I will not get married just because I should, “it is time”, a “good rich man proposed,” or because I am getting older in number.

I have had nights before were I drowned in fear, my biggest then was thinking that one day I will die alone when I myself craved nothing more than a deep heart and soul connection and profound intimacy. But today, this thought no longer shakes me. To the contrary. I have become so happy single, and mostly because, I will not be with someone just because of whatever is outside of me.  I certainly have no voids that a person other than myself can fill.

I am vulnerable, I am ready to love, I am cut open, and yet, I am strong.

The only instance I would go for someone is if he entails the qualities I look for in a man that can be my adventurous companion, and I would love him mutually as madly.

Most women would advise you, “Go for the man who loves you more than you love him.” Sick advice, coming from their own insecurities and fears. I love without needing you see, but I have to love. It does not suffice that he loves me.

To me, it was never of any significance how much I am loved. I only ever care(d) how much I love. I guess you can say, that is as selfish as I get. I have one hell of a yearning heart on fire.

I will not have kids when it suits others, society, or even my parents. I will have them if and when I wish.

Speaking of children, I believe not everyone should be blessed to be a parent, although they all go procreate for outside reasons or voids within.

Also, no, my eggs will not expire. How screwed up have people gotten to think they have a say over another persons internal organs anyways?

Plus, I would rather be doing backbends and inversions, sprinting, swimming in the open oceans or lifting heavy than picking out my wedding dress.

I would rather take myself out for a date and enjoy my own company than have to sit among wives and listen to their gossip.

I would rather watch the sunset and rise alone, than with just anyone for the sake of company.

I do no need to be on a honeymoon with a man to orgasm; Life and its abundant free blessings are my means to climax. And hey, there is always Mula Bandha to engage 😉

I am living proof that you don’t need a man to be joyfully in love and every single day of your life.

Law, papers, titles, names, and rings have nothing to do with love.

The one word my friends all agree on when it comes to me is, “crazy”. Yes, I have a mad thirst to challenge myself, to love, to be more open and vulnerable, to pursue my passions, and to live without limits.

I also live with death in mind, every second of my days.

I live detached within from all that is external. I am a bare-naked heart and soul roaming a world of people with veils on.

I think it is unfortunate that we all sabotage one another from our real and highest selves. We all just want to fit in. Well, I never fit in, no matter how hard I thought about trying to. I can only be myself, even if it meant walking so many roads alone.

I have no embarrassment dropping tears in front of those that hate me, but always with a smile. I am as real as they get. And I am incapable of hatred.

Yes, my body breaks down occasionally and I get fevers here and there and you know what I do? I suck it up. I do not take medicine in any forms. I believe in the power of mother earth and all it’s resources, as well as, the power of my own body to heal itself and anything this poisonous world we have composed can cause to it.

Most times I see best with my eyes shut.

I refuse to continue the chain of others just because it is what is “normal”.

Know that the lessons that truly matter in this life aren’t ones you get through a degree in a classroom.

They are out there, for free. In the open roads, the people you meet along your journey , the differences you encounter with them, in nature, in other mammals, in what cannot be seen, and within you.

I learn and grow every single day, it is never ending. The lessons are everywhere I believe. From the soil you walk on, the mirror you face on the mornings, the child that weeps, the vision you see when you close your eyes, to the sky that encompasses us.

If you must pay to get educated, then buy books and READ. Books unlock keys to oneself and life.

I cannot sell my heart and soul for a high pay. I would rather go broke from time to time and starve pursuing my passions and doing what I love then being stuck in the cooperate world, at a desk-job, and bossed around.

This is also why I am having trouble being as successful as I can be, networking. Success today is all about connections, and let me tell you, they are messy links that are not for the free and spiritual.

I refuse to live to work. I work when necessary to live. By live, I mean, spending on the bare necessities, traveling, and my passions. I am always having to correct people, “No I am NOT rich, my father is.” I would rather be rich within and have great stories in this life than owning lands and reserves anyways.

Same with food and eating and all other pleasures in life that one should balance. I keep things simple and minimal. I fast from food regularly, just because I like to make my heart and soul starve, when you remove and detox from everything it is just you and yourself you see; no distractions, no comfort zone, you face your demons and essence.

I am too honest it always lands me trouble.

Apparently in this is life you make “friends” through lies and enemies through truths.

I would rather keep uttering truths, even on the behalf of those that aren’t gutsy enough to speak out loud.

After all, it is only those that have an enemy within themselves that would make an enemy out of others.

I am the type of woman that feels at home lying on a hammock amidst the Amazon rainforest and would not mind being stranded on an island far away all-alone.

I connect with animals better than humans, simply because, animals come as they are. They do not care to impress. They are real.

I let the rain wet me to my bones, and I will laugh out loud erupting in dance.

I get up at dawn and watch the sunrise, letting it invigorate my spirit. I like to finish my days before most people have started them.

I love pain and discomfort, even more, learning to relax into it and push beyond what I thought I could. Our bodies are our greatest gifts and mine is one I tango with every day to a never-ending journey of greatness.

I am as gutsy as they get, I would take bullets for those I love, literally. I would give my life away just to save what is pure and good in this world. You see, I was born a fighter. So many times I questioned why my journey is full of those against me, but today I see, so long as I got myself I shall thrive!

You can point fingers at me, judge me because I am different and grasping my uniqueness, think I am mad for loving my life solo and constantly throwing myself at the edge of life and it is splendor, or simply because I will never lead a life you see as “normal”- but I will not waver.

My journey of life was never about you, but only about myself, God, and those I truly love and love me.

I will not ever try to talk you into changing who you are; I live and let live. I can only hope I inspire others to embrace their authentic selves even if it’s what others would point fingers at and call “crazy”.

I have had only one regret in my life that really sunk in this year: wasting my time among and on the wrong people, if only because the ones that are closest to me lived elsewhere. Looking back, that time was better spent alone than among mediocre others. I allowed others to feed off of me. Time is gold in this ever fast pace life. You can get your health back, your money back,… but not the time and energy you invest in others. And whom you hang around, eventually shape you. Either you become more of who you are and soar to your dreams if they are amorous inspiring spirits of the like, or you become small and live in mediocre silence like them.

The fact shall always remain, those unhappy with themselves and so their lives can only cause you turmoil.

Proper time investment is what divides the successful from the unsuccessful in life.

For a while now, because I have finally been liberated and so allowed to embrace myself fully, I need not seek the people of my quality, they find me.

I am myself. Authentically. Fully. And wholeheartedly. Staying true myself was not easy in a world that asks you to betray your own heart and soul. But now that I am living by this code and naturally, my energy has multiplied.

I thought that as my age increases in number, that I would get calmer, and be like the norm. But no. My spirit is sky-high. I am embracing my wild side and the child within me more than ever before. Self-love has become second nature I continue to foster, and with it, it is easy to not succumb and to say “No” to others and what doesn’t serve my highest purpose. I am getting more connected with every part of my body inside out, listening to it, and honoring it; and I tell you, nothing feels more wonderful.

I take nothing seriously in life, I am always laughing, even at my own thoughts and self. My humor is infectious. No shame in that. To many that may imply I have not “matured into an adult,” but I ask you to question your own definitions and the roles you think you play? You truly think your purpose in life is to marry and conceive and live like robots? And that makes you mature and an adult?

To everyone who thinks that once they reach a certain age they can’t do certain things in life, contemplate that again. Because for me it’s the contrary, I feel younger as I age. I am getting fitter, more flexible, more open minded and hearted, more spiritual and peaceful,… I love others and myself a little more each day, although at points I thought I’d already reached my limit. We are boundless, without limits! I truly do feel younger and better than ever before. I am sensitive to all the energies around me feeling everything times a hundred and yet still able to take all that and deal with it calmly and constructively! I am in tune with every fiber of my being.

My message here:

Do not be your own sabotage. Drop the excuses and laziness. It is never too late for anything! I is not age that determines your energy levels, but how you fulfill you duty to take care of and nourish yourself, as well as, your self-talk. So align them with greatness and soar! Surround yourself with spirits which can help you up, you know, the crazy dreamers! This is no novel news, I chant this for years: if you want to soar, first step is to let go of what and whom weigh you down. Great people hang out with their own caliber and not those mediocre or below. We were not made to crawl through life to our death beds.

It is vital you do not take your days for granted, especially when they add up so quick! Anytime of day it could be your last breath. Do not waste your life away following that of others, comparing, or wishing you were someone else.

I live my every day reminding myself the following: when I face death, I want to surrender knowing I have lived my best life; to my full potential mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I want to say that I’ve loved with my all and even till my last day had no room for hate even with my big heart! I will rest assured knowing that I helped others rise instead of crumble, that I gave them kindness even when they were unkind, and that I stayed true to myself and purpose.

I will feel successful in knowing that as challenging as it was, I was never a slave to my Ego, societies conventions, my family’s norms, a title, my gender, a label, a job for pay or whatever else. Yes, I put myself first, but in respecting, honoring, taking care of, and loving myself I could only aid others do the same- or at least inspire them.

One must be aware of the time passing. And through this awareness, ask your authentic self; what are your dreams? What makes you happy? What makes you healthy? Get out, make them happen and live your purpose!

You do not get to redo living. You must be sure you put it into your own self-improvement and truly leading the life you wish, one that can make changes to follow even when you have parted this world.

2 Comments

  1. Selma,

    I’ve followed your posts for a couple of years and admire your independent spirit. This post in particular reminded me of Ayn Rand. Have you read her? If not I highly recommend you try her book Atlas Shrugged. It’s somewhat focused on economics, but at the heart, it’s about how we humans relate to each other. It was a life changing book when I first read it–putting voice to so much that I believed but didn’t know how to sort out. I think you have much of a head start on that journey but would still find it worthwhile and may recognize a kindred philosophy to your own.

    Regards,
    Colin

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