Lessons Learned From A Hater

What I learned from my one hater: that person does not hate me, they hate their life. They are badly broken. In denial. In unloving relationships with themselves and others. They hide behind false smiles and statuses. They are codependent and need hypocritical others around to feel any self-worth or security.

A while ago I finally realized their problem: that my life is my own and that of integrity. That I am my own true woman of class and beauty. I am doing great things, spreading my true spirit. I am authentic and transparent. I practice what I preach. I am a woman of faith and live a life of character and honor. I own my mind, heart, soul, and body and I treat each with respect and cherish them. I radiate esteem. I am the boss of my emotions, unlike them they live their life as emotional victims. They hate my freedom, my greatness, my honesty, my influence, and my goodness. But most of all, what’s killing them is that they know my best days are ahead whereas theirs are behind them.

Many times before, I have extended many hands to help them, put my energy, affection and time, listened to their problems, took blame for things that have nothing to do with me, was burdened with their baggages and put there wellbeing and happiness before my own… but it was like rubbing salt in their hidden wounds. Tables were turned. They only wanted to play victims and have someone to blame for their ruins.

Now I know, hate is never about you or I. It is always about those hating and what is missing towards themselves and in their lives.

They hate your light and how bright you glow. Why else do you think they would be busy trying to hurt you, stop you from moving forward, and actively spreading hate? They are in despair in their own lives and cannot change themselves to ever change the way they live.

You see, people that live RESPONSIBLY concerned with their own self-improvement, navigate from self-love, respect, and esteem, and are focused on experiencing their lives through their best selves meanwhile making their every day worth living DO NOT have the time to interfere negatively in the life of others or lend an ear in gossip or add a non-constructive criticism. They mind themselves and their lives and that only. Anyone and anything else is a mere distraction from their great purpose.

How do you deal with these hate harboring toxic people?

Do not apologize (yes even that was turned against me). Do not retaliate. Do not even acknowledge them. They will do whatever to dim your light. Wish them well. Pray for them. Let their existence go. And just keep being your awesome self!

This world is full of puny people that will try to get you to be puny with them. You win them by ignoring them, such people are best to not be dealt with at all, no matter what they say and/or do. Do not let someone make you smaller, hateful, or even an average person like all the masked people and ass-kissers of today. Be yourself at all times and continue pursuing your greatness. Let them continue to hate and pine over your existence.. soon their voices and approaches will become so small.. and soon you’ll be so high on top and too forward, they will have no option but to disappear into the nothingness they already are!

And the saying is true, miserable people love company, especially false company through bringing others down. Insecure people are the only ones busy talking about others, passing judgments, and/or harboring hatred between one another. They also tend to care a lot about outside approval. Sadly, the majority of this worlds populace are indeed insecure- particularly the women- and have no where begun their journey within. Their loss you wonder? Their SELF! Even if they are married, popular, have many acquaintances and all. And I tell you, it is the greatest loss of all! Offer them the right energy, but then walk away. The turmoil they are enduring is within themselves.

If you really think about it.. the majority of ones worries, doubts, and pains today are actually self-inflicted. Heck, some love to break their own hearts without confrontation. While others master self-deceit and enjoy living lies. Really in this world, you will find all! Like I said years ago, every day I see in people many characteristics I do not ever want to become. The most unpleasant of people that I have had the worst experiences with were after all my greatest teachers.

On a similar note, to those that hate and hurt others, it is probably because they are treating themselves with the same hate and are hurting too. One of the greatest lessons of life is to go of your need to be right and always choose to be kind instead. It is important to remember that each and every person you encounter has and/or still is fighting their own battles. We are extensions of one another. We are not unique in one thing: we all suffer. The “mean” “hurtful” and “aggressive” people out there are probably the ones that need your kindness and affection the most.

As for you my dear readers on their own spiritual path, know you have reached ultimate peace, self-esteem, happiness, health and unconditional love within when you see your haters, naysayers, and “enemies” happy and it makes you genuinely content. Sometimes you may even be greater in spirit to contribute to their happiness without them knowing- even if they are still busy envying you, trash talking, and/or trying to bring you down. That is how I have been living my life this past year. You see, genuinely happy, healthy, successful people that navigate this life concerned with their spirits and focused on themselves want to see everyone smile and succeed too 🙂


  1. Hi Salma, I’d like to let you know that I have been following your posts for so long and your wise and helpful words are always in my head.
    I miserably want you to post about smoking and drinking at a young age, because a really close friend of mine has been drinking and smoking as a way to fight depression. And trust me i usually wouldn’t interfere in such decisions, but he’s only sixteen and he’s blinded by everyone around him. He said he’d try to stop, but it’s quite difficult, also because his friends are encouraging him to, I guess. So please, I know your advice will do. I really care for his health and I need your help..

  2. Alia, thank you! Happy to hear my words are remembered to help.
    I do get many requested posts but unfortunately I haven’t really gotten around to writing any of them as many send me requests as though I am a therapist or life coach, which is an honor of course. But what I’m saying is it does take an effort especially a topic like the one you asked for as I’d have to rewind back to my own experience with this. I cannot promise you when I’d write it but I will one day soon.
    Also, you said smoking and drinking, and depression.. is the depression caused by the destructive habits or they’re the reason to escape it? And again would have to go to the root of the depression to get to a core solution. Although at that age there need not be a major reason to feeling down. And I’d assume that yes, peer pressure is a big part too.

  3. Thank you, Salma. I really appreciate this.
    It does not take an effort, because you’re talented and honestly, I think you’re blessed haha.
    And yes, as a method to escape depression. Depression caused by recent family loss and a lot of following events around him. I don’t want to get into detail.
    I don’t want you to have to write about this topic on your blog (if you don’t want to, of course). For me an email with advice would do.
    Thank you again. Sorry to waste your time. Xoxo

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