It is easy to forgive someone you cling to out of “love” or a “need” no matter the let downs, especially if that person fills a void within you.
If you want to be a genuinely compassionate wise person? Try forgiving those that you do not love and/or do not add to your life.
Forgive those you can only give to and not take from.
Forgive those that have nothing to offer but being human and mistaken.
Only then can you say you know forgiveness and unconditional love, it all starts with oneself; when you reach that self-love, respect, and esteem within you see yourself in everyone.
You do not get picky with your forgiveness according to whom deserves it just because he/she shall serve you. You give it for the sake of giving and loving. It is pure freedom.
It is living a life of hope for this humanity and acceptance that we are all made equal and thus all wrong at times. You are no better than anyone else, even if you have not “sinned”. It is a fact in life that we have all been mistaken and done wrong to both ourselves and others, even if you may not admit it.
Certainly do not live clinging to one person’s mistake towards you even if it hurt you only because you are in no personal relationship with them, dependent on them and/or will not have great losses. Do not forget the many good they have done you at points too.
I will tell you this: you will not get anywhere in life- at least not spiritually- if you play Mr/Ms Innocent Victim That Wants Everyone’s Pity Cause You Have A Delusional Halo Over Your Head Were You Truly Believe You’ve Done No Wrong But Keep Getting Done Wrong To!
Be honest with yourselves, only then will you not hurt. Be honest about your feelings and that of others. Reclaim your pains. Put yourself in all positions before any judgments, if you cannot understand then you won’t accept the truth.
Stop identifying who you are with what has been done to you.Stop rehearsing your past to yourself. Stop holding to an old painful story. Others in it have already moved on.
Quit holding grudges and blaming others for your hurt and messes. Be responsible for yourself even if you’re currently broken.
Understand that until you learn the lesson(s) you will keep attracting the same toxic caliber of people, going through the same scenarios, and making the same mistakes.
Let go of your need to control.
Let go of your need to get even with others. Realize one day you will forget what has been done and who did it. You may even laugh about it all. One day the pain will fade away for good.
Have faith and carry on. Propel yourself forward. You still have many best days ahead, with both good and bad experiences. Just let it all go and let nature unfold on its own. Focus on where you want to head, this means looking forward not backwards! And remember, from a spiritual perspective, if you genuinely change to the better your past has nothing to do with your future! Keep in mind, this also applies to those that have wronged you. People change, give them a chance. If you really look within and stop focusing on others outside of you and pointing fingers, you will find you contributed in some way, if not many, to your own suffering.
Finally, know that forgiveness is anything but fair. It has nothing to do with fairness nor being just. In the end, it is about doing what is right for YOU. After all, bitterness is contagious and who would want to spend his life with a poisoned heart clinging to hurt and hate? It leaves no room for love of self or others. It keeps you halted instead of moving forward. It will eat your soul up. Forgive for you, even if what was done to you was not okay- do not let the pain or disappointment keep you stuck where you don’t want to be! Blame won’t heal you, responsibility will. Always practice compassion and empathy, especially with those that tend to raise negative emotions within you. Observe situations you were in too deep emotionally as an outsider and not a participator, you need to learn to go past your perception and feelings to that of others. Only then will you realize we are all so similar, even our worst of traits.
One of the greatest lessons of life is to go of your need to be right and always choose to be kind instead. Stop trying to find the wrong in others. Stop rehearsing their past mistakes. It is important to remember that each and every person you encounter has and/or still is fighting their own battles. We are extensions of one another. We are not unique in one thing: we all suffer. The “mean” “hurtful” and “aggressive” people out there are probably the ones that need your kindness and affection the most.