So.. You’ve Found “The One”?

Okay, let’s rephrase this.. I don’t believe in the “One”. Let’s say.. signs you’ve found your perfect match or maybe the “RIGHT One”. I’ll tell you why after this list. The listing isn’t numbered by importance and sorry it is pretty long!

1. You are yourself with him/her, 110%! You feel an unlimited comfort to be who you are in all your states.

2. He/she is your best of friend. You tell each other anything and everything.

3. The smallest of things are enjoyable when you’re together. Be it a walk in the park, a cruise in the car, or even a visit to the slums!

4. When you’re at your darkest moments and lowest of emotional states, your partner is the only person you want near.

5. Any happy moments, you find the need to share them. Be it a dessert to share, a favorite movie, a song, and/or a surprise of good news.

6. At the end of an exhausting day, he/she are the only company you need by your side. For they never feel like an extra person or certainly not a burden, but the total opposite.

7. Respect, love, and passion all go hand in hand. Your emotional intimacy is undeniable and thus, physical as well.

8. You are both capable of being away from each other but you hate every second of it.

9. You know that no matter what you are unseparable and they will be by your side.

10. You always see them as beautiful, after all you’re seeing them primarily with your heart and not only your eyes.

11. Silence is comforting and healing. It assures you of your connection. Real bonds are made with the heart, and not the tongue. I would hate to be with someone I cannot be silent with in harmony!

12. You laugh together and at each other for no reason.

13. He/she know what to do when you’re having your own nervous breakdown, be it you’re angry or crying or just drained.

14. You fall in love over and over again. Yes even after the years pass. It’s a choice also.

15. You make compromises together. Things never go your way only or often.

16. You care for your beloved’s need’s, health, and happiness more than your own.

17. You fall asleep by each others side the easiest. That’s usually after some action of expressions to your love.

18. You know and are grateful every day to have found someone so perfect for you and you take a moment every day to give thanks and cherish the fact you have a love so rare. True love is extremely rare- most people’s outlooks and experiences of love are very conventional and nowhere near genuine- it’s daunting, and yet, beautiful. When it finds you, embrace it. Love should not be restricted to the constraints of anyone or anything. If it’s real it is yours, even long after the relationship is over, or even if it’s love that isn’t supported by society’s nuptial laws. It’s a soul union most people will not grasp except the two person’s involved. The difficulty lies in distinguishing between what is sincere mutually. It’s all worth exploring, for love comes in many sorts, most definitely not just the storybook versions.

19. You two together feel like a whole family as one.

20. You have definite similarities but also complementary differences. You accept and respect each others different thoughts and opinions.

21. You express your feelings openly without worry or restrictions. Love always wants to be exposed, reciprocated, and cultivated. It goes against our every instinct as humans to quash it. When one is forced to suppress love it eventually turns into anger and bitterness. A real relationship entails both partner to face and express their feelings with each other- and not to burry and/or deny them! If your partner refuses to talk, walks out when you argue, or gives up instead of fights.. your relationship is long failed. True love sticks around. It seeks to listen, understand, respect and accept one another’s feelings. It doesn’t avoid or leave when things get tough or go wrong. That is exactly when it stays!

22. You’re growing together, every day- as individuals and as a couple. Life is all about constant motion and change. Not to progress and remain stagnant is to move backward. You must keep moving forward. This applies to relationships, if you are not evolving, as individuals And together as one then you are withering to ruins. If you and your partner are not growing together, you are dying together. And I’ll tell you, it’s the worst death to be alive but merely existing as a machine without use of your heart and soul.

23. Your love for each other outweighs your need for each other. Now that is true love at it’s best.

24. You nurture one another. You accept him/her completely, you respect his/her independence and personal space, to support his/her growth towards self-actualization- (too many of you lose yourselves in love- it should do the opposite of that), and like mention, you care about and take into consideration his/her thoughts, feelings, needs and desires. Most times even before your own.

25. You cannot imagine life without him/her.

26. He’s your best friend, lover, brother, father, family, and life partner/husband (if you take that step that is). Like wise, she’s your best friend, lover, sister, mother, family, and life partner/wife.

27. You are confident in the fact they belong to you at heart and soul. And you have trust in them no matter where they go or who they’re with that they’re yours and will act according. See you belong WITHIN. Because the truth is no one ever really belongs to anybody else through paper, at least not entirely. When it comes down to it, even those linking words of attachment a marriage vow entails are truly only as binding as the intent of the speaker following them. And it’s not just the intent on that special day, but each and every CHANGING day from then on. It becomes a DAY IN AND OUT commitment. And I’ve said it before, your heart cannot commit to what it does not desire.

28. You can live with them. Just as much as you can’t live without them, most importantly, you make great life companions any hour of the day and in any of your moods!

29. Sometimes you must make sacrifices. A sacrifice usually entails a feeling of deprivation, some sort of loss and/or pain, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. In many instances, you give up a habit, a thing, or even someone for a greater latter. Also, with love, many think it is the equivalent to sacrifice; that one must forfeit at his/her own cost sometimes… it shouldn’t be seen as such. Naturally, sacrificing involves hurt, however it does not have to be so in this case, for how much pain the sacrifice causes depends on how much we amount it to begin with, measured up to how much we value and cherish the one we love.

30. You LISTEN. If you chose to love, remember, it’s first duty is to genuinely listen. Call it a form of soul auscultation; your mind and heart must fully attend to that other.

31. You give, without thinking of what you’ll get in return. Ultimately, in the relationship with a right partner, you balance each other out. To love is to give, sometimes even when it hurts- for it is an act of self-giving; you offer a part of you be it through emotional energy or actions of care and affection. Even when you don’t receive as much as you give, you’re in total self-release.

32. Speaking of balance, you balance each other out. When she/he is weak, you’re strong. You make sure to lift him/her up when they’re down.

33. No doubt he/she would take a bullet for you. Same applies to you.

34. Your eyes meeting is as healing as love gets.

35. Sometimes you fight. It’s normal and you grow from it and love each other more after. The person who loves you most will fight with you. Just as equally as they will fight for you. It is the ones you can’t express yourself freely with and can’t scream your heart out to that you should doubt the love you both have. For silence can tell you the strength of your love or the lack of it. For many couples, silence is just proof of denial that the true emotions aren’t there. For if there is no love, there’s no reason to fight after all.

36. You know the quality of your relationship determines the quality to your life, so you put your partner and your relationship as a priority.

37. Making love is a spiritual mean to express. You can have your wild quickie days for fun, but mostly you can make love without even having sex. This usually has to do with your partner respecting and appreciating every inch of your body. As well as, caring for your pleasure as equally as his/her’s that is, if not before.

38. He/she make you feel whole, when you didn’t even know you weren’t whole before!

As to why I don’t believe in such thing as “the one”; as in only one person meant for you. I believe there are many potential ones that you can find throughout your lifetime. Why do you think many cheat all over the world? It’s not all a Tiger Woods Saga or sexual fantasies or addictions either! Love, just as everything else is primarily mental, you fall for someone that compensate’s your unmet needs or suits your subconscious criteria, which many of you are unaware of to begin with. It varies upon your upbringings, beliefs, interests and priorities in life. Add to that the physical attraction of course. So you can find the right one several times and the rightness of “the one” in my opinion is inclined to fade when the love turns too much an everyday status quo taken for granted. Just like most marriages, a contract without no necessary commitment behind it for many. It’s both a physical and most importantly emotional commitment, BY CHOICE. People have commitment issues in ALL aspects of their life- thats why obesity exists. When you find something you are passionate about you will either commit or quit. That tests and reveals you character or it’s lack there of. If you want to be in a relationship you must work 24/7 at it. If you want to be successful in business, you must work 24/7 at it. If you want to be fit and healthy you must work 24/7 at it… you decide to commit or quit. Relationship’s are relentless work (especially after a child); requiring firm trust, honesty, intimacy, affection, continual communication, attention, and acceptance; its a two way street. If both people aren’t involved, aware, responsible and try hard, it doesn’t work. Period.

I hope you can take the time to reevaluate your relationships. Being with the right person is truly the best gift in this life that will grant you unconditional love, health, and happiness and support you to being your authentic self. Toxic relationships do the opposite however.


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