“The Love of Your Life”

One day, when you least expect it you will meet that one person that will shatter all your walls in one moment.
I can’t tell you at which age; you can be 20 something, 30 something or even 40 something. You may already be with someone else by then, having never predicted you’re capable of such love for another and vice versa.
Or that you thought what you had before was love and the fact you no longer feel it towards your partner is a ‘natural’ thing . You may have even thought you were already happy enough. Well, now the harsh reality. You were too young when you made your life-changing decisions to know.
It certainly takes emotional matureness that comes with time and experience.

On that one day, you are stripped from all your layers.
Instantaneously your souls are touched profoundly simply through looking at each others eyes.
You feel you have known them all long or that you were made to know them by heart.
Hey, everyone you meet is for a reason, but that one person was sent to you for a grand purpose.
Right then and there you will feel as though you belong.
You know in that moment that you will make memories together.
You find your soul being dragged within their bodies.
It is beyond explainable.
It is beyond one’s control.
Oh you’ve resisted it, denied it, fought it, exclaimed out loud against it for months and months.. it only came back stronger than you ever could be.
It is one deadly love.
It is loving the person for their naked hearts and souls.
Without knowing a thing about their religion, riches, ethnicity, age, or martial status. And without caring for looks. All you see is what is within.

That one special person.
You are overwhelmed with many emotions at once.
A fatal attraction, and I do not mean of body, but of heart, mind, and soul.
The air you breath is suddenly oh so very different. You are breathing each other in. Literally.
Without even having to say much of any words- you find you have bonded through silence and without choice.
A fiery harmony. And the flames just keep growing.

You come into each other’s lives at unexpected and sometimes very wrong times.
You connect on a level that overwhelms you with shock. With every passing day, you cannot imagine that such a soul union could exist.
The intimacy, understanding, acceptance, care, respect, trust, and friendship is so perfect it is not believable.
It takes no proof other than a look in his/her eyes to be sure of your love for one another.
The strength of your love and the harmony of your union is always so clear and astoundingly peaceful in your silence.
Even though you may spend most of your time apart, both your heart’s, soul’s, and mind are one.
You carry him with you everywhere you go. And he carries you along.
He sees you in everyone and anyone. Remembers you in every movie he watches. In every song he hears. In every street he recalls. In every food he eats. In every smell he smells. The world has become the abode for your love.
You wake up to see him in you.

You mirror each other.
You help each other face and conquer your deepest fears and troubles. All that you’ve been running away from since the day you were born seems of no significance with them by your side.
You can finally not only face your biggest demons but stand your ground and embrace yourself for all that you truly are.
Your moods become infectious and interdependent.
You can read each others emotions without word or say.
You can predict what will be said and what is coming and you find yourself lifting him up before he even drop’s.
You finish each other’s sentences’.
You complete voids neither of you knew you had.
He knows you more than you know yourself. And you know him more than he’ll ever know himself- or anyone else who may think he knows him; not your own parents even.

The comfort you are in when together and with each other will never fail to bewilder you over and over again.
You know that attachment you develop after decades and decades of living with another, most probably your spouse? After years of children and long hauls? You get intimate out of routine and seeing each other in all states, and because you’re bound to each other by children, and not necessarily out of emotional attachment? Well, it is that same attachment but with much more love behind it. Without having to cage the other person beside you under one roof or with children. You are bound to each other as individuals and that only. For better or worse. No one else can come in between.
It certainly was never about anything but purely love. You are a family as two, no more people needed. Just you and him.
Actually, the love is so absolute, vivid, powerful, and evident you can leave all your windows and doors open and know nothing and no one can ever change his heart, soul, or mind. They belong to you. There is no doubt about that. You surely don’t need their last name or a paper to prove the love or the fact it is never-ending.

Even the time alone you crave for yourself, him being beside you never made you feel like you had extra company.
Anything and everything you can do with him around.
You never felt as separate entities emotionally, spiritually, or physically.
Even your craziest of fetishes and/or worst of habits, you have no shame and experience no discomfort in doing them with him around. And same applies to him.

You know each other by the inch. Inside out. With your every sense.
And there is not one part no matter how small that you haven’t accepted, respected, touched, and loved with your all.
Your are one. Heart. Soul. Mind. And body.
And it’s a state of oneness at all times. Immortal with both your souls united. No matter the distance.

You know this person would die for you and be a living dead without you. Yet, neither of you can ask to live for the other. To die yes, but to live, no.
It is the one person no matter what happens or what you go through that you cannot turn your back from.

Many people will question and not comprehend your love. It really just is. Without reason. And without conditions.
It asks for nothing.
And everyone tries to destroy it yet it only gets more unyielding.
And no matter the confusions pertaining to the one question of how it can be so perfect yet it is going nowhere, you are both aware this is a love greater than even your own gasping.
You were made to accept it. Not resist it.

Then the moments arrive where the fire consumes you both.
It consumes you as individuals and you consume each other.
The fire ignites you both. Sometimes one of you sparks the fire far beyond any true healing and repair.
Once again though, this love is all forgiving. It is made unbreakable with every pain although most people would think the contrary. No matter the permanent scar. For your essence is one. You know the intentions behind even the greatest of mistakes and hurts. Again, you are one.
He cannot breathe without this love and you embody it. From that look in your eyes, your smile, your tear, your character, your skin, to your every part and shape of your body.. you are the love.
It is your heart he adores.
It is your soul he worships.
And you know he taught you how to use that heart of yours. As much as he’s destroyed it, he’s nourished it persistently day in and out for so long.
Certainly you won’t be the same without it either. That means without him as well.

And so the cycle begins.
The fight to survive.
You do each other no good, you push and he pulls.
You let go, feeling so dead and empty, but he always comes back. Making it harder to resist.
You push again, he still pulls and fights you with tears in his eyes.
And the cycle just goes on till you both get so emotionally and physically drained you can hardly get up for the next day.
Yet, there is an invincible thread holding you to each other.
A chain of undying love.
You cannot deny it.
No one can.
Although the chain becomes invisible to all other eyes because it is so hard to believe how strong the two of you can still love and fight for each other with all odds against you.
They not only don’t want to believe, but they aren’t capable either. This a love unwonted to the many and only granted to the lucky.
But it was never about anyone but you two anyways. The heart never lies and you own it.

You try to understand why is it you have such a love in your life when you know you cannot belong to each other… you try to rationalize it, you equate the heart and mind, but it still makes no sense.
Yet, it’s the only thing that makes any sense in this world and life.
Without it, you are merely existing as a machine with people and life passing you by.

The one thing you know for sure, is yes, you will love again and you will be better off one day but you will never love like you have loved this time.
You know with every passing second with or without them this is as rare and unique as love gets.

You burn each other to the extent you’re both out of flame to function or you just decide to let yourself go and run the other direction. You think you lose him/her, but they are right there with you still. Observing your every move. Not bearing to see you with another. Reminding you of all you’ve been through- the bad but mostly good. So good it was extraordinary. They spark all the feelings you know you will not feel the same way again towards anyone else. It’s in those moments that you give up fighting and realize the value of having that special person.
It’s in those moments that you accept that there is love, especially when you’ve avoided it and believed it to be an illusion all your life.
It’s in this moment that you surrender to love and realize it is greater than all. It is the power and message of life and God.
An eternal flame.
You might be able to contain the flames, but they will never die out.

People also told you this kind of love wears out quick.. that it’s all ‘passionate lust’, or ‘romantic love that doesn’t last’.. ‘a honeymoon phase’. Heck, you both never saw it going that far. You thought at least with your age you’re wiser and stronger.
You’ve always lived by your strict moral compass, with your ideals on love and relationships and values you would not bend… this certainly isn’t what you’d hoped and dreamed of. But it’s too late.
It was too late the second you met.
There were never any boundaries. Meeting eliminated them right then and there. Even when you tried to redraw them, he pursued you relentlessly you eventually gave in.
This love is the one power stronger than you both, it has brought you both to your knees.
You both are unstoppable.
And even with the whole world against you, and the insane battles of self, mind, and all else- your love for each other not only never wears out but it gets stronger and stronger with each struggle, mistake, sabotage from others, and yes, passing time. It lasted YEARSSS. And it will last FOREVER no matter who tries to change it.

Now the real struggles begin.
You thought you’ve been through enough anguish already, but then the harsh realizations are to be accepted.
It is the struggle to just be.
It is the struggle to accept the fact that the one special person you thought you can never live without is the one person sent to you to teach you to let go. No matter how hard he makes it. No matter how much it tears you apart. No matter the pain and death you see in his eyes. No matter how much he’ll hate you for it. You must let go.
It is the sadness taking over you after realizing that this person is a part of you now and will always be. You will always carry them in your heart and as a big part of your soul throughout your life; but never having them by your side.

To let go and keep moving forward no matter the pain.
It’s a war between soul and the mind.
It’s a war between your heart and your world.

Maybe the happy ending after all was simply a new beginning with stronger you.
Now capable of true unconditional love and is aware of herself and value.
No longer in fear of belonging to another.

Maybe it’s you and yourself starting all over again.
The right way.
And it’ll come at a right time.
A truer love than ever.

But till then, at least now you know what is meant behind the expression ‘the love of your life’.

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