A healthy relationship worth the hardships is in my view is one where:
I can be myself.
He can be himself.
We can be us.
I can grow.
He can grow.
And we can grow together.
You are supposed to spend your life with a person that allows you the freedom to express and be yourself, and allow the same rights to your partner. You do not use the power of your love to fade his needs and desires, and he does not try to change you to his conventional views pertaining to women in society. Not only that, but be with someone who helps you acquire self-knowledge, which is a life long process. Assisting in bringing out the best in you and vice versa. You grow as individuals and as one entity.
How do you do that? Intimacy is the number one component to any lasting relationship. If your partner is emotionally distant, your relationship is no good for either of you, particularly if one partner is refusing to cooperate. Without intimacy there is no love. Yes, even if you’re having sex consistently, it will not matter. Intimacy IS the love relationship with a significant other where you offer and are offered in return support, understanding, compassion and a sense of being esteemed intellectually, emotionally, and physically.
What is more, you have to be willing to share every aspect of yourself. This means the will to always listen, express honestly, accept, understand, and provide one another with the same respect and support. With true love, you learn to be patient and you seek to be open and sympathetic. You talk the negative and positive through, without no lies to comfort the other if the love is no longer requited on one end.
True relationships are not a power struggle- most definitely not healthy ones. You do not have to conceive things in the same manner. You do not have to always agree. You do not even have to feel the same way about matters. It is not symbiotic.
A healthy relationship is also not confined to a sexual relationship, which must end in orgasm, but one that rejoices in giving, sharing, and exploring.
When it comes to children, do not think conceiving a child with your partner will be your easy formula to a greater connection with your partner. Children should not be brought to this world to be the linking mediators amid their parents! If you chose to have a child, you cannot get away with not displaying your love (that means respecting one another, listening, caring and doing continual good deeds of affection), you must have a healthy environment for them to grow the mother’s role in particular is of immeasurable significance; her function as the nurturer and protector, and the mean in which she displays her responsibilities emotionally and physically manifest into her child(rens) later relationships, determining how happy and healthy or sorrowful and difficult they shall be. You also cannot fake a bond between your partner/spouse that does not exist, children sense that.
A child, or even several, will not be the determinant bond between your and your partner’s soul. Yes, he can come inside of you without being emotionally present at all, not because he is your husband that assures you he is making love, he can simply fuck you as well.
If a relationship is not stable or working do not even consider a child to ensure your partners stuck with you for good! You will forever be stuck in one another’s misery (if you ere responsible decent beings that is). You are to forget your individual rights to freedom, love, and happiness. It is really easy to make a baby and a heck of a lot harder to raise a child in a proper healthy environment, which is essential. So yes, having a baby would keep your man especially in our society, yet, if you’re relationship was not healthy and there is no emotional union then you are not to complain or question when he is only physically present.
The whole point behind being in a relationship is for both partners to GROW. Building a home, let alone a life with someone with continual progress and growth is vital for a healthy relationship.
Personally, I have high expectations when it comes to relationships, makes sense why I choose to be single till now? I do not settle. When it comes to men, women are the ones that run the relationships so what you settle for is what you deserve in the end.
I want many things in one person; a best friend, a companion, and a lover. and I’m not looking for him either 😉 because for now, I want my life to be about ME. For now, I want to remain the primary driver in my life and I know when the time comes, I will do it right and full-heartedly. I want a soul union, not “legal sex” on hand.
On another note, I want to remind my fellow ladies, it is the woman that makes the man. You need to be both his nurturer and the one shining his manhood! If you did not fulfill your own self love and esteem your doubts will inevitably reflect in him. I will refer back to a status I wrote on what makes a real woman:
A real “woman”? I would say surely one that does not define herself through her man, hence, would carry herself with confidence with or without him. A real woman would never love a man more than herself. Why? Because she is aware that it is the woman that makes a man a better more genuine version of himself. She is meant to be the comfort he seeks within a home. She becomes his console in which he self-reflects. Thus, being unconditionally loving and submissive to your man is not a good idea, it will probably lead to major disappointment. The only unconditional and endlessly sacrificing love should be towards yourself and your children, definitely not your man. Women should encourage and build up those around them with their sense of strong character already self-determined- instead of complain, nag, judge, and tear people down. For the woman is the foundation to building a home. Lastly, she knows her rights and thus, does not struggle to leave when he has done her wrong.
Note: knowing how to cook, keep the house clean, and organized does not make one a good housewife! Those are basic skills that everyone should have: yes, both women and MEN!
Love and peace to all 🙂