I am going to attempt to put this in words. I have been writing over the course of six days and I still cannot phrase what I have witnessed and endured, I am also sure it was way worse for others.
All mere opinions. Much of it will not make any sense, for my mind was filled with pure chaos and fear at points.
This is just for my personal catharsis once again.
Now it is a whole other warfare.
It is both dismal and ironic, yet, somehow comical to me. You have a country that is filled with people that are in war with THEMSELVES. Thieves and criminals are now let lose. Citizens demonstrating acts and attitudes of pure obliteration, ignorance, gluttony, and rage…destroying their countries history, and sermonizing slogans and calling it a protest for their rights without any consideration of the consequences even once their so called rights are met.
It started off as an innocent act, a call for reform- but we all saw it coming. A wave of poor that are hungry for what they do not have took the stage of every major city. And that hunger is not for the basics of a human’s need they acquire.
There were many Egyptians joining merely for an act of change and excitement…from students, to workers, to a couple of low-key business men, or those few investors and business moguls that want to be seen on the screen in hopes of taking a role later in the government. Anyways, no restrictions to religions or sexes; Christians and Muslim, women and men were all united. To be able to scream your lungs out with abhorrence and ask for amendment all together in a state of ONENESS, that is rare and always appreciated.
Violence. You see it in the blood spilled all over the streets. First it was the stick beating, then the water tanks, and then those bomb tear-inducers…not so bad (although fuck they still burn your eyes 12 hours later). What is bad is watching the people of Egypt burn their own city down; from properties, security facilities, to trucks and cars both private and belonging to the police force. What is bad is watching the negative attitudes and emotions we have within ourselves displayed in the actions taken, even if it means killing one another. What is bad is getting rid of the police force through violence and thinking now you are safe? The result however, a vivid nightmare we are all living within.
The only news from the president was the restriction of any civilian being out in the streets from 6pm on Friday the 25th to 7am on Saturday the 26th once the police force was defeated. The army tanks were released and everyone was warned. And so all the hopeful citizens went home. Who was left behind? MANY. By many I mean the majority of Egypt’s population, which sadly are very uncivilized people. Many breaking in properties, public and private… stealing, tearing down, burning lands and possessions and pounding the security officials.
Truth is, you cannot just ask for a reform for an entire elimination of a president and the ministers below him and end your request there! Life won’t be rich and happy for every one of you without a system! To the contrary, I see everyone butchering each other for a share of more money or just for the sake of butchery without penalty!
Truth is, you cannot ask for democracy when you are not civilized. When your main focus is avarice- always comparing yourself to those above you. Wanting to torture and murder those that live “better” lives (better in the sense of more money, it is so not the clear-cut case of a good life though). Okay, true, several of the grand foremost respected names in this country are well off because they do some dirty business often and steal the countries money but that is what power grants you, dominance and prominence over others. When you are above that pyramid of governance and supremacy, many tend to forget their souls are just as worthy (if not less) as any other person “below” them. They focus solely on their needs and wants and do not look behind but higher, and do go higher- at least THAT high…you got to do it the good old duplicitous backstabbing unjust ways.
Of course protests are favored, it is the right of every citizen to speak out loud and claim his rights not only as a civilian but as a human too.
It is one thing to feel secure with another person, to feel secure at your home, and a whole other to feel secure in your country! It is not something I thought I would experience or even contemplated because I guess I have taken it for granted. Okay, as a female you get harassed and groped in the streets here in Egypt, raided here and there. Nevertheless, you were living without fear. Just cautiously.
Now you have to be beyond cautious in order to be assured you can walk in the streets without being robbed, raped, and beaten. Or even taken hostage for some mad sum of a ransom. And it is terrifying- not because one minute you own the world and the next you are fighting to find food because all your belongings are stolen and then terminated through having them burned to the ground- but because the thought of people out there, those that were locked up in jails- thieves, murderers, and all sorts of criminals…unchained and their only thought is revenge from those that have a better living. Now I am speaking about the class of people that do not use logic- they react in accord with their raging emotions, they do not think, they are ignorant, most have lived difficult lives and so became malicious, and their only will is to spread that evil within them.
Law enforcements and all regulations have disappeared in a matter of a few hours. Innocent lives taken of both protesters and the police force. All banks robbed. All public institutions, ministers halls…burnt down. Most jails destroyed will all those within them freed. Even hospitals are under attack and theft.
The statement that is supposedly the solution I am hearing is “Mubarak must leave,” “once he does the general people will fight the thieves’ and murderers.” Seriously? I know everything I seem to say is from a humane aspect but, seriously? In the end we are all mortals, the solution is us murdering one another till “peace” is achieved? My point is if there were not so many people that find themselves superior to others simply because they are richer and hence have move power we would not be attacked as such. If the so called protesters had used their fucking minds before their march and attacking the police…we would not be hiding in our homes or to those that are filthy rich, escaping the country in their private jets before the people get to them.
The paragraph above in italic I had wrote earlier this morning, I found myself justifying why those people are so wicked and solely seek demolition and seeing other tormented and slaughtered. But having seen a few of those people looking down from my balcony with their riffles and I do not know what crazy gun machines just shooting at whatever and whomever and LAUGHING…wow. They cannot be sane or even considered mortals!
Personally, I was very aware this was how it was going to end. I hear everyone saying, “How the hell did it get this horrific from a protest to total loss of control?” What did you expect? Egypt’s people are all the same; loud, violent, obnoxious, greedy, angry, money-seekers, ungrateful… part of me thinks that if the higher classed were not so keen in treating those below them in the hierarchy and education with inferiority it would not be so dire as stated above! But then logic and statistics kick in…they are raping women in the streets, pulling them out of there cars…they broke in the CANCER HOSPITAL to steal their AIR CONDITIONERS for God’s sake! They burnt down 4 hotels, but before that made sure to RAPE the female TOURISTS. They attempted to burn down the Egyptian museum and so their country’s history with it. Now, how can they be called humans? Those immoral callous savages.
Everyone who knows me knows how much I’ve despised this country for a decade at least and how bad I wished to depart it at points. The sole reason for my survival here so far is because I have created my own world in my mind and I have been living within it, believe it or not. So far I have everyone telling me to fly out- including my family, I know if I push them just that little push they need they will make the decision to go in no time. In spite of that, I am NOT leaving- even if my half my family decided to and leave me behind. I am not moving homes either to a “safer” area, none of those precaution matter. Because for me, I want to leave when I desire and because it was my will and time to, and not because I must HIDE. No one puts my life on stop, it maybe altered under such great sudden circumstances but I shall never be forced to live in secrete.
The past few days I have survived the night “attacks” simply because there I was acting like one of those people we are defending ourselves from. You do not have anybody to protect you no more…no police, no army, no nothing, and you have to rely on yourself! So if it takes war to secure our peace, then so be it.